What We Could Have Been
by MsCharlotteJane
Summary: Future Fic. Rachel and Finn broke up after Graduation. Six Years later they are living separate lives, in separate cities. However, how do they cope when they realise they are still just as tethered as they were when they were eighteen?
1. I Can Hear The Bells

The Way We Could Have Been.

**Chapter One: I Can Hear The Bells. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of these characters they all belong to Fox and the very lucky Ryan Murphy. **

**Author's Note: Hey guys, I know I haven't written anything in a year. But I am back with fresh inspiration and hopefully a story you'll enjoy. Please review and you'll make me smile for days! **

The Bride was glowing, she knew that was what everyone had to say but for this particular Bride on this particular sunny Ohio afternoon the statement seemed to match perfectly. She wore a long ivory dress that fell to the floor and hugged her curves flawlessly, it had one shoulder going over her dark skin which was beaded with shining crystals and small fabric petals and at the hem of dress was a floral embroidery design that you could only notice upon the closest of inspections. The Bride carried a bouquet that consisted of an array of colours and exotic flowers with pink orchids and pure lilies and pitch purple lavenders and she grinned an a thousand watt smile as she glided down the aisle towards her soon to be husband. Childhood Sweethearts, that was the term that had been used throughout the day as the guests described the Bride and Groom. They discussed how they had been in love from the moment they met and that it must have been fate because they so clearly belonged together. And in reply to all these perfectly described comments all Rachel Berry could do was smile ever so bitterly in return.

The wedding of Mercedes Jones and Sam Evans was beautiful; no one could fault them on it. They had chosen a beautiful Plum orchard in the middle of Spring and as they kissed each other as Husband and Wife the slight breeze that had set upon them carried pink blossom over the beautiful couple. The guests had applauded and relatives cried and smiled with pride as Mercedes and Sam looked lovingly into each other's eyes.

"So freaking charming." Santana Lopez muttered next to Rachel as she hitched her red dress dangerously high up her thigh. Rachel nodded in agreement and bitterly looked over her shoulder at another couple a few rows behind them.

"Will you stop looking at them!" Santana said again, pulling at Rachel's arm to get her attention back. "You're starting to look needy!"

"I just don't understand why Kurt didn't tell me about them. I mean, I speak to him every week surely I should have a right to know." Rachel muttered angrily and more to herself than to Santana who had already heard this speech twice today.

"Listen to me Berry; it's been six years since you last saw him. Of course, he's going to be seeing people. What did you expect? Just try and enjoy tonight and stop looking like Barbra Streisand has died okay? Besides you look hotter than the skank he's with anyway." Santana said with a wink at her best friend. The last part made Rachel smile, it was what she needed to hear after seeing the dark haired man with a beautiful normal sized blonde the moment she walked into the wedding.

"Thanks Santana, shall we follow everyone to the reception?"

The Reception was in the same orchard that the Ceremony had been; the guests simply had to follow a small gravelled track into another field where a huge, white tent was set up with several round tables and a slow jazz band were playing as people entered. Rachel and Santana found their seats soon enough and to Rachel's relief they were not on the same table as the dark haired man she was doing so well to avoid.

"Looking good Princess!" Came a voice from behind her half way through the celebrations. The party was in full swing as people danced to the band that were playing, laughed and caught up with old friends. Rachel looked down at her lilac coloured silk dress that reached just above her knee. She turned round and looked at Noah Puckerman giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you Noah!" She smiled and agreed to a dance while Santana laughed with Mercedes and talked about all the planning that had happened for this very day.

After a while, Rachel excused herself and sat down on the small round table she had been seated at for dinner. Her feet ached and she wondered how inappropriate it would be for her to slip off the cream heels she was wearing.

"Hey". Rachel looked up immediately, knowing the gruffness in the voice all too well. Having it conjure up so many memories that she had attempted to block out for so many years.

"Hi Finn". She tried to smile as normally as she could but she just felt awkward. Being back in Ohio and seeing everyone from Glee Club, celebrating the love of a couple that weren't her and him. It was all too much for her and if she was honest, the moment she saw him she wanted to turn around and book the next flight back to New York.

"Can we maybe talk?" He asked his brow furrowing slightly at the situation because surely all this wasn't right. This wasn't how it was meant to be. This wasn't what he meant when he broke up with her, he wanted her to go to New York and to find herself, to become the star he knew she was. He didn't think this was how they would end up though. Six years later and all he had to show for their teenage love was a suit that he never wore to his wedding and an engagement ring she sent back.

"I guess so." Rachel agreed, getting up and following the tall, dark haired man outside into the beautiful Ohio sunshine and the unknown.


	2. I Dreamed A Dream

**Chapter Two: I Dreamed A Dream. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of these characters they all belong to Fox and the very lucky Ryan Murphy. **

"_I Dreamed a Dream in time gone by. _

_When hope was high and life worth living. _

_I dreamed that love would never die." _

"Okay! Thank you very much… Miss…" The Director looked down at the name on the sheet.

"Berry, Rachel Berry." Rachel called from the stage she was standing on, in annoyance.

"Of course. We'll be in touch." The balding man said with a slimy smile plastered across his shiny face.

Rachel rolled her eyes as she stormed off the stage in the small Broadway playhouse. They wouldn't be in contact, none of them ever were. She'd been in New York for five and a half years. She'd been auditioning for Broadway and every other play she could fine for five and a half years. And if she was truthful, she would tell you that slowly her dream that she was so passionate about in high school. So determined to get to, that dream was finally dying. When she was alone and usually at night she would think of all the things she gave up for that dream; her family, friends that she could have made and Finn. His name barely a movement on her lips and yet the effects were forever on her restless heart.

She arrived back home at the apartment on the cold January afternoon slamming the door shut loudly. "Fucking Directors and Producers and their fucked up idea of what they think is beautiful." She muttered angrily to herself. She barely noticed the two girls standing in the Kitchen discussing something intently but quietly.

"Berry! What are you moaning about now?" Santana Lopez said as her roommate slammed her way through their shared apartment.

"Just another audition I've failed to get." Rachel said, trying not to make a big deal about it. Santana knew though, she'd been with Rachel through every single one of those failed auditions and the tears that streaked down her olive skin after the first few declines. She'd been with her during the wailing tantrums and the quiet sobs in the middle of the night that weren't really about the auditions at all but about a tall dark haired boy in Ohio that still had her heart clasped tightly between his fists. In the darkness of those particular nights, Santana would curl up in Rachel's bed with her and draw slow circles into her back. "It'll be okay, Berry." She would whisper soothingly as Rachel sniffled into her pillow and drew her knees close up to her chest.

Moments like that occurred fairly often after Rachel and Santana moved to New York. Rachel was surprised when she was setting up her College apartment just days after she had moved in and a week after being in New York. Still broken hearted, she was shocked when a knock on her door came from Santana Lopez with a sympathetic smile and several sarcastic comments to make about Finn's man boobs. It wasn't a perfect situation but it worked, Rachel never expected them to be friends and never expected them to move in together after Rachel had finished College. Their relationship was tense at times, due to their strong difference in personality, but Santana had managed to dress Rachel up without making her look like a sad stripper clown and Rachel had managed to develop a mischievous sense of humour due to Santana's sarcastic quips.

However, on that particular January afternoon Rachel was not in the mood for Santana's rude comments and sarcastic one-liners nor was she willing to hear the truth.

"Berry, just stop doing all these auditions and join me working at the Publishing House. I know it's not all our dreams coming true but we're barely living off what you earn at the Coffee Shop and we need a more substantial income." Santana said as she opened a can of diet Coke and handed it to Tina Cohen-Chang.

"Look I'm sorry, I'm really not in the mood to talk about giving up Broadway yet. I have another audition tomorrow so we'll see after that." Rachel replied, throwing her jacket onto a chair in their cramped living room and tying her long dark hair in a ponytail to get it out of her face. Today was one of those days where everything would annoy her.

"Rachel you said that last time! Come on just have an interview with the Publishing House okay?" Santana offered.

"Fine, if it makes you happy I'll go to an interview." Rachel called back in annoyance as she walked towards her bedroom.

"Maybe you'll even meet someone" Santana offered with a smile that was desperately trying to put Rachel in a better mood.

"Don't be ridiculous Santana, I don't meet people you know that. I don't date; it's bad for my career. I mean can you believe that I nearly gave up all this for the love of my life. But wait before I could he dumped me and packed me off to New York so I could be rejected again and again for roles I am perfect for." Rachel said sarcastically as she walked towards Santana with a false look of happiness on her face as she mocked the life she could have had with Finn and compared that life to the life she had now. On days like this, Finn came out on top every time.

Santana looked at her with no sympathy, this is what Rachel did when she was having a bad day or something annoyed her. She always seemed to come back to the hurt she hadn't dealt with properly over Finn. "Still not letting that one go yet?" Santana asked just as sarcastically back at her best friend. The best friend who she had supported for five years now, she needed to go out; meet good looking men, go on dates, get some sex. But Santana had said this, repeatedly, as Rachel ignored her. Every time.

Rachel took a breath and looked up at Santana and Tina through her thick eyelashes. "Fine, I'm sorry for being a class A bitch." She muttered so both of her friends could just about hear her. If it was any other time, Santana would tease her and make her say sorry louder. But she had something to tell Rachel. Something she really didn't want to have to tell Rachel.

"Look Rach, Tina and I have got some news for you and you're probably not going to like it." Santana said lightly, desperately trying to think of a way to soften the blow.

"I can guarantee you won't like it." Tina chipped in from behind the counter of their tiny kitchen, for that comment she got an angered look thrown her way and soon ducked back into the kitchen to let Santana deal with Rachel's reaction.

"What?" Rachel asked with tiredness in her voice, nothing could possibly be as bad as today had been. Or as bad as this past week had been; three auditions and no calls backs and her yoga class got cancelled and she knew she wouldn't get her money back.

"This came for you in the mail, we all got one." Santana said, handing her a crisp, white envelope. Rachel opened it and inside was a square piece of card with beautiful silver calligraphy and light pink flowers decorating the cream paper.

Rachel read the invitation aloud as her heart sank and the panic began to set in.

"_Mr Sam Evans and Miss Mercedes Jones, Invite you to join us at the celebration of our marriage. _

_On Saturday 14__th__ April _

_At 2 P.M_

_At the Ohio Plum Orchard, _

_Lima, Ohio _

_Dessert and dancing to follow." _

There was a silence in the room as Rachel took in that wedding invitation, all the memories that were pinned to such a small piece of card. It should have been her; it should have said Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson. She knew she should be over it by now but she wasn't. Most days she could pretend and sometimes she would go days without thinking of him and then she would see a guy at the store with three freckles on his face, or a woman would past with a man and the height difference could be laughable. And just like that all the memories would come flooding back and she would feel like a teenager again. She was meant to be the first to marry, a union of love and commitment. She didn't want to always be the girl that got engaged at high school. It wasn't her. She wanted Finn and the white wedding and vowels and promises which last a lifetime. Not an old wedding dress wrapped in a plastic coat and put as far away to the back of her closet as possible.

As these thoughts whirled through Rachel's mind, she realised Santana and Tina were both staring at her; waiting for a reaction and an answer. They would have to go back to Ohio; Rachel knew that because she wasn't going to miss her best friend's wedding. But _he _would be there, wearing a suit and his smile and just the thought of him made her a fool for that dark haired boy. Although she knew he wouldn't a boy anymore.

It had been over five years since she'd last seen him, waving him away and all the friends she had made in Glee Club. The family she would never truly have back. Five years and Six Months and what had she gained from it all? The only things she truly had was her friendship and her ability to hail a cab without being scared of the taxi drivers.

Rachel looked up at her two best friends and took a deep breath. "Santana, you know that bar you're always talking about?" She asked the dark haired girl standing in front of her who nodded, looking ever so slightly nervous.

"Good, take me there." Rachel said, grabbing her jacket off the chair she had thrown it on half an hour before and walking towards the front door.


	3. A Sentimental Man

The Way We Could Have Been

**Chapter Three: A Sentimental Man **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of these characters they all belong to Fox and the very lucky Ryan Murphy.**

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading and reviews are like love and musicals. So please review if you read this because I really would love to know what you think! **

"It's come round so quickly man!" Finn Hudson exclaimed as he slapped his friend on the back with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"I know I just can't wait to marry her." Sam smiled back, the smile was almost wistful as though in his mind he was imagining the day he got to marry the love of his life. "Pretty much everyone from Glee club will be coming. It'll be like a proper reunion." Just as the words fell from his mouth he realised what he had said. He looked at his friend and carefully watched as Finn swallowed at the strong realisation that he would have to see her again. "Shit, sorry man - I should have-" Sam started.

"Don't be sorry man, its fine. It's about time I see her again and it's been almost six years. I mean we're over it. We grew up and grew out of each other. It's what happens. You must be one of the few people that actually marry their high school sweetheart." Finn said trying to cover the thoughts he was having of seeing her, finally.

He hadn't even seen a picture of her in six years; sure he had the photos of her from their time, from years ago. But he never looked at them anymore, he had closed the lid of that box and stored in the back of his closet the day he arrived home after leaving her that day. He didn't need reminders of what he had thrown away, he didn't need her winning smile constantly teasing him, begging for him to get on a plane and join her. No, instead he packed a box with photos and memories that he kept from when they were seventeen when airplane cups meant something.

He thought back to the box hidden in his closet underneath shoes and clothes, buried under another lifetime. He thought back to the tiny engagement ring, sitting carefully in the box he had bought it in, he didn't keep that in the box of memories. He kept the ring in his bed side draw, and when he felt sentimental he would take it out and hold it and remember the day she sent it back as clearly as if it were yesterday.

At the thought of that ring Finn shut his eyes tights, so hard he can see colours of red and pink shoot through them and he bit his lip so hard that he could feel his teeth breaking skin. When he opened them again; he sees Sam has an understanding smile positioned carefully upon his faces and is holding another beer out for Finn. They make a toast together; to friendship and love and marriage and to an unforgettable Glee reunion.

At the end of the night they part and get into their individual trucks and head back to their individual homes. Sam to Mercedes and his future and the life they are planning together. Finn to a house with an oven he can barely use and a bed he rarely sleeps in.

When Finn arrives home he is greeted by the cat he never really wanted but somehow bought. He had read somewhere online that when dealing with a break up it helps to get an animal to have as companionship. On a day where he needed to be looked after he went out and bought a cat, a small ginger kitten that sat perfectly in his lap and purred when Finn tickled behind his ears, however after Finn got his pet all he could think about was how much Rachel would love it and look after it and pet it in all the ways Finn never really understood how to. Now, Finn knew he would never have this problem. The beautiful, tiny ginger kitten Finn had bought four years ago had turned into a huge great ginger cat which snarled at Finn whenever he went near him and ate the tuna out of his sandwiches. Flame was not a cat to be messed with either; with lumps bitten out of his ears and scratches on his nose, Finn regularly wondered what Flame fought with but really he didn't want to find out.

"Hey boy" Finn greeted the snarling animal. "Some companionship you make big guy." He said with a chuckle to himself.

The house was dark and bare, although Finn had moved in just under four years ago it had never really felt like a home. The house had limited pictures put out and all the walls were painted in the same dull magnolia colour they had been in the day he had bought it. He went upstairs and sat down on the bed he owned, the bed that felt far too big at night even now after all this time. The bed he was often joined in by a beautiful blonde lady with a smile that he could never quite look straight at. He clicked his answer machine and sighed as the only messages on there were from his Mother or Kurt.

If someone asked Finn when he was seventeen what he wanted to be when he was twenty four he would have said happy. And he would have pictured himself in a home similar to this one but with laughter and singing and love packed into all the tiny rooms. He would have pictured himself with _her_, Rachel Berry and her little dresses in every shade of pink and white cardigans with cherries on and every colour of knee high socks that were available. Finn wasn't a Lima Loser, he knew that. Living in Ohio, he was the Sports Reporter on the local radio station but he had his sights set on other opportunities and better career moves. He just wasn't ready to move away just yet; somehow he felt that staying in Lima was a link to his past. His only connection to his teenage self. His only connection to Rachel.

His phone rang shrilly and he jumped slightly from the sound.

"Hi Kurt." He answered, knowing who it was almost instantly.

"Hey, are you alright?" His brother asked, knowing that Finn wasn't okay, understanding – as usual – that Finn wallowed in the past and feelings from years ago.

"Fine, honestly Kurt. How are you and Blaine doing?" He asked, attempting to pass over the thoughts of what Kurt really wanted to ask.

"We're fine, excited to receive our invite to the Evans and Jones wedding. Can't wait to go suit shopping! We should go together; God knows you need a new one! I have to take you to this lovely little men's suit boutique in the city, its perfect!" He exclaimed as Finn let his brother chat away about tails and penguins and ties and other animal related suit issues. Not that even knew that something like that existed.

"After all, you'll need to look your best for Miss Berry's return to Lima, Ohio." Kurt finally announced in the bluntest way possible.

Finn sighed and rolled his eyes, thankful that is brother could not see him. "It'll be fine Kurt" He lied. "We have to see each at some point; we've been dodging events and celebrations with the Glee club for years. It's Sam and Mercedes' day, not mine and Rachel's; we had our opportunity and screwed it up. But it is time to move on from the past and let go." He answered.

"You've been saying that for years Finn." Kurt replied to his brother honestly.

Finn knew he was right of course, he had been repeating that line for years. Parroting it to anyone and everyone who asked about what happened to his pretty, talented girlfriend. He would fake a smile and repeat the lines as if he were an actor and those were his stage cues and he supposed in a way he was.

Because Finn Hudson couldn't just get over Rachel Berry. Every time her name was mentioned he flinched. Every time Funny Girl was on the movie channel he flicked it over so fast it almost hurt his eyes. Because Rachel Berry reminded Finn of being seventeen and the old, orange truck he had owned and spent hours repairing with Burt and the time him and Rachel fooled around in it outside the mall and were nearly caught. She makes him think of dreams and hope and love and things that may never be untied. She makes him think of songs and melodies and harmonies and all the memories that are joined with those tunes.

Rachel Berry makes Finn think of love and how can you move on from someone when they are still so clearly tethered to you?


End file.
